Why is pursuing love torturous? In ‘say(yang)’, 2025,  Maryam faces her personal struggles with vulnerability within the Self and ‘other’, as well as deconstructing the usage of language in performance.

 

The word ‘sayang’ in Malay language holds a double meaning - one to suggest affection and deep love for a lover, the other to mean shame or loss. She ties the two definitions into her performance in the form of a self-initiated kickboxing match. Mental strength is put to focus here, shadow boxing as a concept of perceiving the ‘other’, almost giving the object a life, trying to psyche it’s next move while it is barely moving. Then, the actions of violence is forced upon it, creating the same force back toward the boxer. The boxer is exhalted of their energy and effort, eventually tired, resting on the ‘other’, the hugging motion a form of comfort. The lover/boxer, in lingerie(vulnerable state), drags the body around, and cannot decide if the body is a tool for hate or love.